Magnum Infinity: Why won’t mine grow back?

Dear Unilever,

I was awfully hungry for ice cream the other night. After a long day of reading second hand comic books and sipping myrtle tea I felt my taste buds deserved a special treat, so I went out and bought one of your renowned icons of shameless gourmandise. I remember the sheer excitement I felt as I stepped outside the store and unwrapped my very own Magnum cleverly code-named Infinity. According to what I had been told, this product was supposed to be an investment for weeks – perhaps even months – to come. Nearly shaking with anticipation I bit the chocolate top off for the first time and closed my eyes.  Continue reading

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Ben & Jerry’s: Chunky Monkey

Dear Ben, Dear Jerry,

I have been a long time fan of your frozen products for the simple reason that I had never tried any of them until yesterday. Now don’t worry, my complaint has nothing to do with the quality of your brand. As a matter of fact, in terms of flavour this Chunky Monkey ice cream of yours is most definitely beyond anything I have ever experienced while conscious. Admittedly, I found the crunchy walnuts and chewy banana shaped chocolate bits to taste rather unearthly at first but I quickly got over that and before long the cup was empty and I sat mesmerised for the next three hours.

Those three hours turned out to be the most turbulent in my life as I am rapidly coming to realise, for when I regained my senses I was confronted with one mystery after another. Continue reading