I woke up with a strong craving for pizza this morning so I figured I’d go wild and try your internationally renowned food and beverage delivery service. A cheerful, user-friendly website and a lightning fast order confirmation made for a most enjoyable customer experience. Less than 20 minutes later the doorbell rang and I was greeted by a smiling delivery boy carrying a large cardboard box. Continue reading
Every fortnight my buddies and I
Argue about it for hours on end;
Sipping our tea and chewing our pie
We squabble, quibble, dispute and contend. Continue reading
I have been a passionate advocate of your first-rate cacao products for as long as arctic foxes have walked the face of the planet. Hardly ever have I seen anyone use the words chocolate manufacturer and visionary in the same sentence, but you have successfully translated your revolutionary ideas into an astonishing array of miraculous flavours and textures, which I – along with thousands of other true chocolate aficionados – am ever so grateful for. Continue reading
There are online publishing platforms aplenty, none of which could ever hope to compete with the awe-inspiring beauty of WordPress. I originally came to this conclusion while attending the opening of the Covington-Cincinnati Suspension Bridge as far back as early January 1867. It was the year U.S. Secretary of State William H. Seward purchased Alaska from the Russian Empire, marking a major turning point in arctic ice fishing history.
While I could dig deeper into the geography of Alaska and tell you about the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge or the formidable Aleutian Islands in the southwest, I would, for the sake of conciseness, rather return to my point, which is really a question. Continue reading
I have been a devoted and passionate advocate for your baked delicacies for as long as man has walked the face of Earth. Perhaps unsurprisingly so, considering that the scrumptious cupcakes you produce are nearly as beautifully styled as your adorable sales crew. To walk past the pink signboard above your pastry shop on Krossener Straße and not buy anything is a challenge I may never beat no matter how hard I try to resist the call of the cupcake.
That said, I am afraid I have a minor complaint. Being a sucker for anything Oreo related as I am, I have been trying hard to get a taste of your Cookies ‘n’ Cream flavored cupcakes for the last six weeks or so. You might think this should be easy as pie to accomplish but let me tell you, I have never been faced with a more daunting task. Continue reading
My ears will glow purple every time a pretty woman comes across my path. I absolutely adore women. I love how their hair smells like strawberries, dandelions and newborn butterflies. I delight in the way their eyes flicker about the tiny Bengali grocery store around the corner on gloomy Saturday mornings. Quite unfortunately, if I may say so, I don’t appear to have a way with women. I am terrified to look them in the eyes. Their mere presence makes my palms and toes go all twitchy and sweaty. Did I mention women actually make my ears glow purple? Yes, well, they do. That said, it may come as no surprise to you that I recently ended up resorting to your long-celebrated brand of aerosol body sprays.
Based on what I had heard and read in the media, I was reasonably confident that this so-called “Axe Effect” was going to be the ultimate answer to my particular situation. After six days of extensive research, I decided that the fragrant power of Dark Temptation was most likely to be able to transform me into the irresistible icon of raw masculinity I strove to be and help me conquer my very own Susan Glenn. So off I ran to the nearest drugstore. Continue reading