Delivery Hero – Wait, that’s not a pizza

DHDear Delivery Hero,

I woke up with a strong craving for pizza this morning so I figured I’d go wild and try your internationally renowned food and beverage delivery service. A cheerful, user-friendly website and a lightning fast order confirmation made for a most enjoyable customer experience. Less than 20 minutes later the doorbell rang and I was greeted by a smiling delivery boy carrying a large cardboard box.

So far, so good, right? Yes, well, I opened the box and I’m sure you can imagine my surprise as German schlager singer Roland Kaiser abruptly popped out. He’s been in a fairly good mood so far but I am growing increasingly tired of hearing him sing ‘Santa Maria’ over and over again. Also, he seems to be looking for something as I constantly have to keep telling him to stay out of our cupboards. Do you know of a way to get him to leave my apartment? If not, I would appreciate receiving a set of maintenance instructions. What does he eat? When does he sleep? Does he need any medication? Please help me. It’s been only a few hours and I am already on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

P.S.: I’m still hungry.

*** Delivery Hero’s reaction ***

Screen Shot 2014-11-05 at 15.47.33

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