Magnum Infinity: Why won’t mine grow back?

Dear Unilever,

I was awfully hungry for ice cream the other night. After a long day of reading second hand comic books and sipping myrtle tea I felt my taste buds deserved a special treat, so I went out and bought one of your renowned icons of shameless gourmandise. I remember the sheer excitement I felt as I stepped outside the store and unwrapped my very own Magnum cleverly code-named Infinity. According to what I had been told, this product was supposed to be an investment for weeks – perhaps even months – to come. Nearly shaking with anticipation I bit the chocolate top off for the first time and closed my eyes. 

As I woke up from a very brief unintentional nap I was astonished to see that against all odds my Magnum had failed to restore its original configuration. After studying it for another few minutes I eventually came to the disheartening conclusion that it definitely wasn’t going to grow back. Instead, a mixture of melted ice cream and liquid caramel was slowly oozing onto my hand and I couldn’t help but feel a little bewildered and confused. At first I attributed the incident to a rare manufacturing fault so I went back into the store and pointed it out to the sales clerk. Much to my surprise she told me she had been receiving numerous similar complaints from other customers.

Your Magnum brand has been a particular favorite of mine for as long as I’ve had favorites, the main reason for this being that you consistently use premium quality chocolate. Sometimes I will buy a Magnum just for its delicious, crunchy chocolate shell and give the left over ice cream to a fortunate random stranger. I am getting away from my point, though. What I really wanted to ask is whether you could offer me any sort of remuneration for the disappointing experience I have had with your latest creation so as to restore my faith in your fabulous brand.

I very much look forward to hearing from you.

With creamy regards,

Thomas

*** Scroll down for Unilever’s reply ***

What was wrong with mine?


“It grows back!” – Miracle or marketing scam?

*** Unilever’s reply ***

Dear Thomas,

Thank you for contacting us regarding Magnum Infinity. We are always interested to hear from our consumers and welcome your comments.

Like many advertising and marketing ideas the ‘Magnum Infinity’ is a play on words and a fantasy scenario. It is not meant to reflect the real world, if ice cream was to regrow we would never need to make it again which would be a shame because making ice cream sure is fun and exciting!

I will ensure your comments are passed along to our Marketing teams.

Thanks again for your interest in our products.

Kind regards,

Amy
Magnum Consumer Relations Team
www.unilever.com.au

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7 thoughts on “Magnum Infinity: Why won’t mine grow back?

  1. Pingback: A Head Full of Ideas « Random and Sundry Things

    • They actually did write that. We were hoping for a more creative reaction, but I guess what we got is better than an automated reply. Anyhow, so far Unilever definitely haven’t proven to be as great as Innocent, Burts or Ferrero.

      Thanks for dropping by!

  2. Ice cream is actually made from dolphin tears. DO NOT BUY ICE CREAM FROM A COMPANY THAT MAKES SOAP POWDER.

  3. We are very lucky because our first Magnum Infinity actually materialized in our freezer compartment along with a Magnum Chocolate Truffle. We hadn’t even seen the adverts at that time but noticed it was a new type. Ours had yellow and brown bands in it which seem different from the ones advertized.
    Anyway, I just thought it worth mentioning this as it means ours almost did grow back, at least if we had bought one before it would have, but you could say it grew there. So the growing claims aren’t false.
    The world is stranger than you would believe.

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