Ferrero Kinder: Tape Measure

Dear Ferrero,

Our little boy Magnus (aged 6) is a massive fan of your long-celebrated Surprise eggs. Nothing appears to provide such a thrill to him as the bi-weekly ritual of unwrapping a freshly acquired specimen and splitting its chocolate exterior by applying gentle pressure alongside the seam, thus uncovering the precious inner shell. As opposed to myself, he does not care all that much for the edible part, claiming that a product containing hardly any cocoa solids at all should not be classified as chocolate. No, it is the surprises within he craves above all else, and I can see why he is so fond of the toys those eggs come shipped with.

tt073-vLast week, however, Magnus obtained a rather peculiar sort of spring tape measure (Ref. TT073) from his Surprise egg. When he ran over and showed it to me, I was initially astonished at how useful a tool this chocolate-flavoured sweet had come with and thought the measure could prove useful for the upcoming kitchen remodel. Afterall, DIY equipment is far from inexpensive these days and our overall family budget has been soaring for more than a few months now. Upon closer inspection, I noticed something odd about the item. The first thing that crossed my mind was that the internal mechanism had to be jammed somehow. I gave it a firm jerk, which sadly did not accomplish anything. A few seconds of peering into the transparent blue casing revealed that the measuring tape appeared to be atypically short indeed. Fifteen centimetres or 5.9 inches to be precise. This left me wondering what on earth anyone would want to measure with a 5.9 inch chunk of tape.

Obviously, being a healthy male, I managed to figure that out within what must have been less than a minute. Now I do not consider myself old-fashioned and I am certainly not puritan, but I admit to being slightly worried about the intentions of the toy designers at the Magic Production Group (MPG). Anyhow, I confiscated the questionable gadget on the spot, much to the bemusement of little Magnus, who threatened to send the Jabberwocky after me and has not been willing to engage in any sort of conversation with me ever since.

For all the trouble that particular egg has been causing, I would like to ask you for a compensation consisting of the following items:

  • a written response which includes a statement on whether or not my suspicion about the intended use of the toy is well founded
  • a voucher which entitles Magnus to a new Surprise egg
  • a full-size tape measure for our upcoming kitchen remodel (any brand will do)

You may send everything to the address mentioned above.

Thank you very much in advance for your kind consideration.

Best regards,

Thomas

***
Just recently, we received a very pleasant phone call from Ferrero’s German PR desk. Shortly after, they sent us a written version of their explanation – in two languages!

(English Version Below)
(PICTURES BELOW)

***

Hallo Thomas,

auch wir möchten uns für das angenehme Telefonat vom 6. September 2012 bedanken. Wir bedauern, dass Sie und Ihr Sohn Magnus vom Spielzeug in Kinder Überraschung enttäuscht waren, denn Kinder lieben Kinder Überraschung ja gerade, weil es ihnen ein dreifaches Vergnügen bietet: das Entdecken des Spielzeugs, den Spaß am Spielen und den Genuss der Schokolade. In Ihrer Anfrage beziehen Sie sich auf ein 15 cm langes Maßband, dass im Jahr 2007 in Kinder Überraschung enthalten war und so nicht mehr auf dem Markt erhältlich ist.

Die Spielzeuge in Kinder Überraschung – so auch das Maßband – sind üblicherweise auf die Bedürfnisse von Kindern zugeschnitten. Sie sollen Anreize zum spielerischen Lernen schaffen und unterliegen dabei höchsten Sicherheitsstandards. Das Ihnen vorliegende Maßband war konzipiert, Kindern die Möglichkeit zu bieten, sich langsam und auf kindgerechte Art und Weise mit dem metrischen System vertraut zu machen. In der Tat scheint es zum präzisen Ausmessen einer Küche im Rahmen von Renovierungsarbeiten eher nicht geeignet.

Da es erklärtes Ziel von Kinder Überraschung ist, Menschen eine Freude zu bereiten, möchten wir Ihnen und Ihrem Sohn als kleinen Ausgleich für die entstandene Enttäuschung ein Päckchen mit Schokoladenprodukten zukommen lassen. Wir werden es heute noch auf dem Postweg an die von Ihnen angegebene Adresse in Berlin schicken.

Bitte haben Sie Verständnis dafür, dass wir Ihnen die Antwort auf Deutsch zukommen lassen, da Sie sich mit Ihrer Bitte an den deutschen Consumer Service gewandt haben. Unten finden Sie eine ungefähre englische Entsprechung des Textes.

Wir hoffen, Sie und Ihren Sohn Magnus weiterhin zu unseren zufriedenen Kunden zählen zu dürfen und verbleiben

mit freundlichen Grüßen

FERRERO Deutschland

***
PICTURES BELOW
***

Hello Thomas,

We want to thank you for the pleasant phone call on September 6th, 2012. We are sorry that you and your son Magnus experienced some disappointment by the toy you found in kinder surprise. What kids love most about kinder surprise is that it provides triple pleasure: finding out which toy is inside, playing and enjoying the chocolate. In your request, you refer to a 15 cm long tape measure, which was included in kinder surprise in 2007 and is no longer available on the market.

The toys in kinder surprise – including the tape measure – are usually tailored to children’s needs. The incentives are created for playful learning and shall be submitted to the highest safety standards. The tape measure was designed to offer children the opportunity to familiarize slowly and on a child-friendly way with the metric system. In fact, it seems not really suitable to accurately measuring a kitchen as part of renovations.

Since kinder surprise is meant to provide fun, we want to make up for your and your son’s disappointment by sending you a box of chocolate products. We will send it today to your address in Berlin.

We hope, you and your son Magnus will remain satisfied customers of our products.

Sincerely yours

FERRERO Germany

Thumbs way up for Ferrero!
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